I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
