Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
