Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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