he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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