My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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