his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
