She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
