respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
