check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
