Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
