i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
