He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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