hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
