We're facebook friends in real life
one two three fourrrrnication!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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