Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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