its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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