I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
