Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
