tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
