have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
