I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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