True but thats because hes a fetus.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
