Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
