at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
