He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
