I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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