you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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