the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
