OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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