its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
