how can u be prego again
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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