did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
