This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
