I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
