So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
