so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
