Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
