508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
