At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
