he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
