Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
