We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
