Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
