Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
