Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
