so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
