all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
