Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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