so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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