i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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