i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
