last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
