this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
