I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
