i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
